The Sperm that Succeeded
€12.50 plus post & packing Europe
Out in front of the pack
Holding the others back
Or swimming happily with its mates
Thinking “Hey isn’t this great”
Certainly not languishing or hanging around
Certainly not holding back or waiting to be found
Or were you a sperm that was feeling discouraged
All the other friendly sperm that were swimming in the porridge
Said “Come on pal, you can do it, yes you can”
And held out the equivalent of a spermly helping hand
Or were you a sperm that was swimming in confusion
Lost all sense of purpose, forgot the goal was fusion
Or a sperm that was chatting with her friend
And bumped into the ova by accident
Or maybe a sperm on a spiritual quest
Who thought the egg was god and he knew what’s best
That all the other sperm were unworthy disbelievers
Or were you a sperm who was a cruel deceiver
Played all the other sperm a nasty trick
Sent them all the wrong way then fertilised double quick
Some sperm are jolly and tell other sperm jokes
Some pessimistic, think the ova is a hoax
Some just can’t be bothered to do all that swimming
Some think that it’s exercise and all to do with slimming
Some sperm are very vain and wish that they had mirrors
Some sperm are very plain, (most of them are winners)
Many sperm are insecure and ask advice along the way
Some think they’re rehearsing for a ‘lovely spermly play’
Some sperm are worried about their personality
Some sperm are rebels and complain that they’re not free
Some sperm are political and try to organise the race
Whilst all the rest are anarchists and laugh right in their face
Some sperm are kamikaze and go plunging to their deaths
Some are suicidal, some are just depressed
Some get there by accident, others by design
Some are full of joy and feel being a sperm is fine
Whatever sperm you were, no matter what advice you heeded
One thing is for sure; you are the sperm that succeeded